


Here comes the sun

by superblykeen



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 01:34:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15719211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superblykeen/pseuds/superblykeen
Summary: Luka meets Gareth for the first time in years.





	Here comes the sun

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. 
> 
> I also don't know anything about any of the following so I'm sorry if the interpretations of any of these are wrong.  
> \- Europe  
> \- University in Europe  
> \- Science-related classes at University in Europe
> 
> I'm also very new to football RPF so I hope the characterizations are not too far off.
> 
> This has not been beta read. Any comments are much appreciated!
> 
> Update 1: I made some edits (just added a couple of passages)

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2013

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Luka! There you are.”

Luka put down his beaker and turned around to see Sergio, one of his labmates, standing at the door. A figure stepped from behind Sergio and Luka froze when he laid eyes on the face he thought he’d never see again.

“I want you to meet one of our newer grad students. This is -”

“- Gareth,” Luka’s breath left his lungs when he spoke his name.

“Ah! So you two know each other already.”

“We studied in London together.” Gareth extended his hand out and Luka shook it. Sergio continued to chatter, but Luka could only focus on Gareth’s strong grip, and his blue eyes boring into Luka.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2010

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Luka looked at the clock. It wasn’t surprising that the Chemistry Homework Help Centre was not a popular hangout for undergrads at 6:30 PM on a Friday evening. Still, Luka was a man of his word and would stay until 7:00 PM to lock up. He had some of his own books in front of him and tried his best to get some work done.

At 6:39 PM, Luka heard a shuffling in the hallway. He looked back down to his textbook, only to realize that the shuffling had stopped at the door of the homework centre. At the door was a tall boy with flushed cheeks, dressed in a football kit.

“Did I miss the homework session?” He was panting heavily and his hands tightly clutched the straps of his backpack. Luka pitied him a little. He closed his own book and pushed it to the side.

“No, we don’t close until seven.”

The boy beamed and quickly sat down, opening his backpack and tugging out his books, rife with notes sticking out. The majority of students that Luka worked with at the centre attended maybe two lectures each semester and came to the centre only to complete their assignments. Luka was a little more than delighted when he got the chance to work with a student who seemed to care about his education. Luka was even more impressed when he found out that the student had had actually attempted the assignment beforehand.

Part way through the homework assignment, Luka glanced at the clock and saw that it was 7:09 PM. He could have asked the student to come back another day, but there didn’t seem to be any point, not when they were on a roll.

It had nothing to do with the fact that the student would look at him with his earnest eyes when Luka added his own comments to the student’s nearly-complete solution, or flash him a big smile when he finally understood the answer to a particular question. Not at all.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2013

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Luka walked down the hall with a spring in his step. His morning seminar was cancelled so he got eight hours of sleep, and he had spent the previous night preparing his lab work. There was no guarantee that his results would turn out as expected, but he was in a good mood. The lab was rather busy that day, but Luka was not perturbed.

Not until he noticed a brunet topknot in his left periphery. The feature was the first thing Luka had noticed about the new Gareth. Well, the second thing, after Gareth’s eyes. Gareth had the same mellow blue eyes as he had when he was an undergrad. But his hairstyle was the next thing. Luka didn’t really understand modern fashion, but somehow the hairstyle suited Gareth. And he wore the sorts of clothes Luka only ever saw in store displays. This reinvented Gareth was a hit with a ladies, judging by the girls by the window who kept glancing at Gareth and giggling.

Gareth looked up and gave a small wave before returning to his work, which Luka returned, maybe a second too late, as Gareth had already turned back to his own lab bench.

Luka got to work preparing his materials but Gareth’s mere presence put him slightly on edge.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Three hours later, Luka was ready to leave, content with his day’s work. He was also acutely aware of Gareth approaching him.

“Luka.” It wasn’t spoken as a question, but as a statement. Luka looked up. Was Gareth always so tall? Maybe Luka was shrinking.

“Would you like to go for a coffee sometime?”

Luka glanced to the side and noticed the girls by the window staring at them intently. Luka looked back at Gareth, whose eyes hadn’t left Luka’s face.

“Em. Okay.” Luka couldn’t see any harm in that.

They exchanged phone numbers, and Luka was on his way. It’d just be two old friends catching up, he told himself.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2010

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Luka had been in the library for about two hours. A lecturer in his department was ill and had asked Luka to teach a couple of classes for the next two weeks. Luka didn’t have trouble with public speaking, but teaching an advanced kinesiology course was another story. He’d drawn up a blueprint of his lesson plan, but he got stuck at the details.

He stretched his arms across his desk and put his head down. He could feel the heat of the desk lamp on his hair and it nearly put him to sleep. The chair next to him scraped across the wooden floor and Luka looked up and saw the student from the homework centre, the one with the flushed cheeks and strong jaw. The student shot him a big smile, and Luka politely returned it.

To be honest, the exchange embarrassed Luka a little. He can’t have been that happy to see Luka.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

An hour later, Luka finally had a lesson plan that he was somewhat confident in. It’d need some tweaks here and there, but it was mostly complete.

He was pretty proud of the amount of work he got done, considering that his arm kept brushing up against Mr. Bright Eyes next to him. Each time, Luka would quickly move his arm back and whisper a quick apology. The student would send him a smile back, and Luka’s ears would burn up.

At one point, Luka had gone to the washroom and before returning to cubicle, he eyed the student from one row back. He was scratching his head while holding a pen that seemed too small for his large hands. Luka also couldn’t help but notice the flush on the back of his neck, that travelled up to the skin behind his ears.

Luka returned to his seat and quietly returned to his work, trying to avoid eye contact with the student next to him. He didn’t want to seem like a creep, even though he admitted to himself that he was maybe a little too interested.

Eventually, the student packed his things, presumably to go to his next class. Luka shared a quick wave with him before he walked away.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

That evening, Luka took out his books to review some of his day’s work. He opened his notebook and a suspicious looking slip of paper fell onto the floor. Luka leaned down to pick it up and unfold it.

 

Gareth

(020) xxxx-xxxx

 

Luka retraced his steps from the beginning of the day, wondering who Gareth might be, but his heart was already racing at the thought of who he knew it had to be. Luka had only been studying at the library that day, and had otherwise left his books at home while he went out to run other errands.

Sneaky bugger. He must have slipped the note in his things when Luka had gone to the washroom. _Gareth_ , Luka whispered. He liked the sound of the name.

Luka laid on his side in his bed, his phone in one hand, and the note in the other, typing up a text.

 

_Luka: Hello, this is Luka_

_Luka: From the chemistry help centre_

_Gareth: Hi Luka :)_

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2013

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The coffee shop was a popular student meetup spot. Luka waited outside in the cold, but a well-behaved golden retriever had been tied to a post next to him, and it kept Luka company.

Luka spotted Gareth crossing the street. He looked...expensive. His shoes looked expensive, his peacoat looked expensive, his scarf looked expensive. Luka felt underdressed in a five-year-old jacket, a toque he got for free at his student union, and a pair of gloves with two holes that Luka hadn’t gotten around to mending. If Gareth noticed, he didn’t say anything.

Luka patted the dog’s head once more and joined Gareth inside the shop. While in line, Luka wasn’t sure whether to break the silence, but Gareth seemed content with just looking at Luka, hint of a smile on his lips. They bought their drinks and stepped back outside.

Gareth put a hand at his shoulder and guided him along the path. Luka glanced at Gareth, who coolly looked ahead. Luka wasn’t sure how to approach this sophisticated version of Gareth who didn’t quite show his feelings on his face. But there wouldn’t be a time when he couldn’t trust Gareth, and so he wordlessly followed.

They arrived at a quiet park that Luka frequented himself. He usually cut through this park when he was walking to class, but now that he was here with Gareth, he appreciated the beautiful flora.

A group sitting by a fountain recognized Gareth and beckoned him over. Gareth looked back at Luka hesitantly as one of them tugged on his arm. Gareth relented and spoke to them for a minute as Luka stood a few steps behind, trying not to intrude.

Gareth bid his farewells and returned to Luka and they continued down the path.

“I’m sorry for that. Those were just some of my classmates.”

“It’s okay. You seem pretty popular around here. I’m not surprised you already have a fanclub,” he tried to joke.

“But I was supposed to be with you, and I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

Luka didn’t know how to respond and instead looked down at his feet while they continued walking ahead.

They settled on a bench under a secluded tree.

“What a coincidence it is, the two of us going ending up in the same city so far away from London,” Luka smiles.

“I was worried you wouldn’t recognize me,” Gareth said.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Luka said.

“I was worried that I...hadn’t made a good impression.” Gareth glanced at Luka before looking down at the coffee in his hands.

“Well, you worried for nothing,” Luka quietly replied. Gareth didn’t look so convinced, so Luka bumped his shoulder in reassurance.

A frown never looked as good as a smile did on Gareth, though, so Luka did his best to cheer him up, pointing out misbehaving dogs and teenagers wearing strange clothing until Gareth cracked the grin that Luka had missed so much.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2010

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_Gareth: will you be at the homework centre this week?_

_Luka: yes, every friday evening_

_Gareth: i’ll come over after football practice again. See you then :)_

 

Luka wasn’t totally sure why Gareth even needed to go to the homework help club so often. Not only was Gareth a good student who paid attention in class, but he was sometimes a few days _early_ in finishing his assignments. Not even Luka had ever been so dedicated. 

Most of the time, their sessions would run past 7:00 PM, but Luka didn’t mind spending a little more time with Gareth. All in the name of education, of course.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“...So that is how we come to the answer of C instead of D,” Luka said, Gareth nodding along to his explanation.

“You’re really good at explaining these trick questions,” Gareth said to Luka.

“I was in your shoes not long ago. It’s sometimes hard for lecturers to connect with the students when they themselves haven’t sat in a student’s chair in decades.”

Gareth finished writing his notes in the margins of the page.

“I was at the kinesiology class you lectured at three weeks ago.”

“You were? Are you taking that class? I thought you needed second-year biology classes as prerequisites for it.”

“Well, I - actually, a few weeks ago at the library, I saw that you were working on a lesson plan for the class, so I thought I would go and audit it. Seeing if maybe it was something I’d be interested in.”

“And, what did you think?” Luka eyed him curiously.

“Yeah, it seems pretty interesting. And you made it easy to follow.”

“I’m glad to hear that. If you have any questions about choosing upper year classes, you can ask me,” Luka offered.

Over the past weeks, Luka had really come to know Gareth and had fancied himself a bit of a mentor figure. If there was anything he could help with, he wouldn’t mind. Especially not when it came to Gareth.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Luka.”

Luka unlocked his bicycle from the rack and turned to see Gareth jogging towards him.

“Hi, Gareth,” Luka said. The two of them just stood for a few seconds, grinning at one another.

“Are you going back to your apartment now?” Gareth asked.

“Yeah, I’d rather not bike at night time,” Luka replied.

“Can I join you?” Gareth sheepishly inquired.

And that is how Luka found himself biking on the sidewalk Gareth’s large hands around Luka’s torso.

“Are you sure your legs are comfortable?” Luka asked. Luka was not known to be a tall man and his bike reflected that. Gareth, who was sitting on the rack behind Luka’s seat, had his legs stiffly stretched out in front.

“I’m completely fine. No need to worry about me.” Luka was suspicious, but Gareth seemed to be having fun.

“There’s a tube station near my home. I can drop you off there,” Luka told Gareth. Gareth hummed in response. He could have sworn that the pair had passed Gareth’s dorm a few streets back, but Gareth said nothing, and so Luka continued onward.

Luka was driving a little recklessly over mounds and into ditches. He told himself it was because he wanted to make it home quickly. But Luka also didn’t dislike when his bicycle wobbled and Gareth’s hands tightened around his hips.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“What plans do you have after graduation?” Luka asked, as the two packed their things after another productive evening at the help centre.

“I wanted to be a physiotherapist. But my tutor’s suggested graduate school too.” Luka himself had only recently decided on his future path, so he understood Gareth’s indecision.

“You’re smart and hardworking. I think you’d do well no matter what path you chose,” Luka commented. Gareth dipped his head, blush apparent across his cheeks.

“How about you, Luka? What are your plans?”

“I’ve received a couple of offers from some schools for PhD programs.”

Gareth looked a little surprised. “Have you decided where you’ll go?”

“Not yet. Some of them are in different countries so I’ll have to think carefully.”

Gareth clutched his backpack. “Well, I hope you’ll stay here.”

Luka smiled. “I hope so too.”

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

One evening, Luka was at the homework centre until 7:12 PM, and was a little disappointed to find that Gareth hadn’t made it to the help centre at all. The custodians would be coming by soon to clean the floors and so Luka had no choice but to leave for the night.

On his way out the side door of the chemistry building, Luka noticed a white flash running at high speed across the lawn. He was momentarily stunned, but thought nothing of it. The sun was only beginning to set so he wasn’t worried about light night muggings.

As he walked out of the building, the door slammed behind him and he continued onward to his bicycle which was parked on a rack just around the corner.

The white blur in the distance seemed headed towards Luka and he started to panic, and quickly unlocked his bicycle, wielding his bicycle lock as a weapon. It was small, but it was heavy, and contrary to Luka’s size, he felt himself more than capable of defending himself.

As the figure approached him, however, he saw it was merely Gareth dressed in his football kit. He had been used to seeing Gareth like this, catching his breath with his bag on his back, but also noted the plastic bag in his hand.

“Gareth? Are you alright?” Luka asked.

“Yeah, sorry, I thought I would make it in time for the homework centre but apparently not.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure this week’s assignment isn’t that challenging, so I think you can probably get it done with no problem.”

“Yes, but it’s more fun to do it with you.”

Luka blushed and dipped his head. “Well, if you get stuck, the homework centre is open on the other days of the week too, so if you need that last minute save, we have your back.”

“You’d make a terrific salesman, Luka.”

“Let’s just say I’m passionate about being paid six pounds an hour.”

Gareth laughed in response.

“Did football practice run late today?” Luka asked as he rolled his bicycle out of the rack.

“No, it didn’t, but I wanted to run to the convenience store to get a snack before I came here. Unfortunately, I overestimated myself. I got you something too.”

“Oh?” Luka was curious.

Gareth opened up his plastic bag to reveal about ten granola bars of varying flavours.

“I wasn’t sure which flavour you liked so I got a bunch. I can eat the rest anyway.”

Luka was simultaneously awed and endeared.

“Is this what constitutes as a healthy meal for a student athlete?” Luka laughed and grabbed a bar. Gareth sheepishly dips his head.

“I didn’t exactly have time or a five-course meal.”

“Well, we better get you some proper food to eat if you’re going to be kicking footballs by day and solving chemistry problems by night,” Luka said, walking his bicycle along the pavement. He briefly turned back and beckoned Gareth to follow him.

The two walked a few blocks off campus to a 24-hour fast food restaurant, where they spent the evening discussing everything from courses and strict professors to their favourite television shows and football (in which Luka was pleased to learn that Gareth shared his team allegiances).

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2013

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Gareth texted Luka to go out for coffee a few more times, and Luka couldn’t say no. He still hadn’t figured out where he stood with this grown-up Gareth, but he always longed to see the man. Luka had even built up the courage to initiate their meetings, and was indescribably pleased when Gareth agreed.

Each time, they would go to the same park and sit at the same bench. Sometimes they would sit in silence, watching passersby. Sometimes they would discuss football, and sometimes they would vent about their studies. There was no defined agenda, except that the two would spend time in each other’s company.

The sixth time they agreed to meet up, Luka was waiting outside the coffee shop when he spotted a man and a woman at the bus stop across the intersection. Luka couldn’t hear what they were saying. As the bus rolled up to the curb next they shared a kiss, and the woman stepped onto the bus.

Luka wasn’t a prude. He had no problems with couples showing affection in public. But it had been a while since the thought of kissing and the thought of Gareth had been in such close proximity and he felt his stomach start to turn.

Gareth arrived as usual, but Luka felt uneasy the moment he walked into the shop, and truthfully, he knew the cause.

Gareth noticed Luka’s slowing steps and turned to him in concern.

“Are you okay, Luka?” The feeling of Gareth’s hand underneath his arm made him want to cry. Luka already felt the sting at the corners of his eyes.

“I...I don’t deserve this,” he muttered.

Gareth’s concern turned to confusion but his hand didn’t move. “I don’t understand, Luka. Are you feeling unwell? Do you want to go home?”

Luka backed away, tugging his arm out of Gareth’s grasp, and before his vision blurred, he turned and ran out of the coffee shop.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Luka ran for ten minutes before he found a quiet alleyway. He sat on an empty wooden crate and let himself sob. He felt like a child, wiping at his eyes with the sleeves of his jacket.

When his breath slowed, Luka realized that he wasn’t entirely sure where he was. But he wasn’t with Gareth. Part of him was relieved that Gareth didn’t see the totality of his meltdown, and the other part of him missed Gareth’s concern.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2010

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_Gareth: there’s a rugby game this weekend. do you want to go?_

_Luka: I don’t know anything about rugby!_

_Gareth: it’s ok, i’ll teach you :)_

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Luka was bundled from head to toe standing in frigid weather next to Gareth who was cheering on his team of choice. Luka understood the gist of the game, but he failed to grasp some of the technical rules. Nonetheless, he enjoyed watching Gareth overreact to every call by the official.

Luka had expected more of Gareth’s friends to attend the game, but it only ended up being the two of them. It didn’t bother Luka though. He liked spending time with Gareth. The game ended with Gareth’s team securing a win, and he wrapped his arms around Luka and lifted him up in his celebration.

Later in the evening, Luka and Gareth grabbed at a bite to eat at a busy pub. Despite the noisy crowds, Gareth was wholly focused on Luka, listening to his stories and laughing at his jokes. Luka was particularly proud of himself whenever Gareth reached over the table to lightly jab at him in response to a clever joke.

Gareth walked Luka back to his building while attempting to explain various rugby plays that Luka hadn’t grasped during the game. As they approached Luka’s building, he wanted to thank Gareth for organizing the events of the day, but it seemed that Gareth had wanted to say something himself. He bent down, so Luka leaned in to meet him halfway, but instead of hearing Gareth’s voice in his ear, he felt Gareth’s lips on his own. Gareth backed away to glance at Luka’s face, but Luka put his hands on Gareth’s jaw and pulled him back in.

Gareth kissed in a way that suited his demeanour. Strong, but so soft that Luka wanted to melt. Luka wasn’t sure how long they had stood under the glowing lamp post, hands on Gareth’s face, and Gareth’s arms around his back.

The two jumped apart when they heard the clicking heels of a passerby, who curiously looked on. Luka looked down at the ground, while Gareth eyed the stranger until they were out of earshot. Luka proceeded to walk back to his building. Gareth briefly pulled him back by his shoulders and gave him a quick peck on the temple before letting him continue on his way.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Luka went into his room and without taking off his coat, scarf, or toque, laid face-down on his bed. He tried to wrap his mind around the events that perspired minutes ago. He had never thought of kissing Gareth, and now that it had happened, he wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

He had never thought that he liked boys. He had had one girlfriend during high school but he didn’t remember kissing her being anything like kissing Gareth.

And Gareth had never told him that he liked boys. How did he know that Luka would kiss him back? Is he going to want to kiss Luka again?

So many questions swam in Luka’s brain.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_Gareth: do you want to see a movie next thurs evening? I’ll be finished my exams by then_

_Luka: sorry, i’ll be busy then_

_Gareth: that’s ok :) let me know when you’re free_

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Luka did not, in fact, let Gareth know when he was free. He spent the next four weeks studying at a library he had never been to in all his years at the university, and switched around his hours at the chemistry homework help centre.

He didn’t know why he was avoiding Gareth. He even felt bad for Gareth because he at least deserved replies to his texts. But the next time he spoke to Gareth, he’d have to face the fact that he had kissed him. And what would come next? Would they hold hands in public? Have romantic candlelit dinners?

Luka had never thought to question his sexuality in all his 25 years of living, and he acknowledged that he was a coward for hiding from them now. But he had his exams and his career to worry about, and he used that as an excuse to push his sexual awakening to the back of his mind.

Luka would sometimes come across the slip of paper with Gareth’s name and phone number. He would hold it over his garbage bin before sighing and putting it back on his desk.

By the end of the semester, Luka had accepted an offer from a graduate program in Madrid, Spain.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2013

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Come on, Luka! You’ve been holed up in your apartment for the whole week! You only have to come for a little bit. It’s my birthday, so you have to do what I say!”

“I don’t know, you might catch my bad mood.”

Luka was lying on his bed, and rolled onto his back. Marcelo, his boisterous classmate, had noticed Luka’s recent slump and was trying to get him out of his house.

“You won’t have a bad mood once you come over! You don’t have to party. You can just chill. I just want to see your face, man.”

Luka hadn’t seen Marcelo in a few weeks amid the pandemonium of school. He suppose he could make it to the party for a little bit. And then he would go home straight after.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Marcelo was one of the most outgoing students in the faculty, so he wasn’t surprised that his party was packed. Luka grabbed a beer and wandered from room to room in search of a familiar face.

He finally found Toni in the kitchen. Toni was from the lab and Luka always got along with him. He could tell that Luka wasn’t in a talking mood, so aside from bringing up occasional campus gossip, they mostly drank in a comfortable silence, leaning against the kitchen island.

When Luka was nursing his fourth beer, Marcelo finally came around to bid his greetings.

“My friends! Why aren’t you here and not dancing with the others?” Marcelo draped his arms around Luka and Toni’s necks.

“I’m dancing inside in my heart, Marcelo,” Toni replied. Luka cracked a smile.

Marcelo turned to Toni. “Did you know our friend Luka here is feeling sad?”

“Okay, Marcelo, I think you need some water,” Luka said. He attempted to move out of Marcelo’s grasp, but Marcelo’s grip was too strong.

“I don’t know why you’re sad, but you know you can talk to us, Lukita.”

Luka felt self-conscious under the scrutiny of both Toni and Marcelo, but finally attempted a smile. “Yes, okay, I know, Marcelo. Now go sit on the sofa while I get you some water.”

Marcelo obediently sat and downed two full glasses of water under Luka’s watchful eye before releasing him back to into the jungle that was his party.

“Marcelo’s right, you know. It’s not good to keep your troubles bottled up. I might not be able to solve your problem, but sometimes it helps to say them aloud,” Toni said.

Luka grabbed his fifth beer. It’d been a while since he drank this much. He’d also come to the party without having eating anything so perhaps that was the reason he was feeling more open than usual. He held the beer to his forehead.

“A long time ago, I had a good thing. Well, I only realize in hindsight that it was actually a really, really good thing. But I threw it away because there was something I had to accept before I could get to the good thing and I never got around to accepting it. And then - and then now, the good thing has come back, but I’m not sure if it’ll be good anymore. I mean, the thing is still really, really good, but, I think I messed up on my first chance and if I try to get it back it won’t be - the same.”

Luka caught his breath while Toni finished his beer.

“Well, Luka, there’s a chance it won’t be the same, but there’s also a chance that it’ll be really, really good like you remembered it, right? If it’s within reach, why don’t you just give it a try? Try accepting the thing that’s stopped you from getting to the good thing? You never know until you try.”

Damn Toni. Luka was being purposely vague but it was no match for Toni’s persuasive logic.

“I have to head back now, but take care of yourself, Luka.” Toni ruffled Luka’s hair before grabbing his empty beer bottle and exiting the kitchen.

Luka eyed his own bottle. He’d finish this one last beer and head home.

He walked over to the balcony and opened the door. By his stroke of luck, Gareth was standing in the corner. For a second, Luka considered exiting the balcony and leaving the apartment, pretending that he hadn’t just left Gareth there without acknowledging him. In light of Toni’s words only a few moments ago, Luka decided against it and stepped back out to the balcony.

Luka sat down on a patio chair while Gareth stayed standing in the corner, sipping their beers in silence and sneaking glances at each other.

Gareth broke the silence. “Do you want to tell me what last week was about?”

Luka put his beer down and covered his face with his hands. “Not particularly.”

“If it’s about what happened three years ago…"

Luka lowered his head into his arms.

Gareth sighed and continued nursing his beer.

“I won’t lie. I was pretty upset when you started to ignore me. I was maybe even a little angry. I wanted so much to forget you. And I did, for a bit. But when I heard from Sergio about a short blond graduate student called Luka, who liked to ride his bicycle recklessly and was good at explaining chemistry and had neat handwriting, I felt like the universe was telling me to give it another shot. So if you want to, I’ll forget the past and we can start over. I get that maybe you’ve never considered liking someone like me. But if you want to, I’ll be with you every step of the way. But if you don’t want me, then I’ll back off and-”

“No.”

Luka surprised himself by his own interjection. Gareth looked at him in anticipation. Ah, fuck it. Luka was drunk anyway. He took a deep breath.

“You’re right, I had trouble with the idea of liking...someone like you. Even now, I’m not sure I totally understand it. You kissed me and then I got scared of who I was and what other people would say, but I lost sight of the most important thing which was that I liked it and I liked _you_. But by the time I realized that, I had already overreacted for weeks and stopped returning your messages so I thought that I had lost my chance forever.”

Gareth sat down on the coffee table in front of Luka.

“I thought that if I ever saw you again you’d be terribly angry with me and that would be the end of it. But then you showed up four weeks ago, asking me out to coffee and I didn’t know what to do anymore. I’m sorry for not solving my own problems and taking it out on you, I’m sorry for ignoring you, I’m sorry for leaving without saying anything to you, and now that you’re here, all I want to tell you is how much I regret what I did and how much I missed you. I know I have baggage and I promise I’ll try to work it out. Just, just - if you’ll have me, I know I don’t deserve it, but, please let me stay with you.”

Luka didn’t notice that his cheeks were wet until Gareth brought his thumb up to swipe under Luka’s eye. He gathered Luka against his shoulder, hand in Luka’s locks, and brushing his back.

“Okay.”

Luka closed his eyes and clutched at Gareth’s jacket.

 

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Luka remembered bits and pieces of the rest of the night, but it was a haze. Drunk crying did that to him.

Luka recalled Gareth ushering him out of Marcelo’s party, and walking him over to his apartment. Gareth asked Luka for his key, which Luka frantically searched for in his left pocket before realizing it was in his right pocket.

Inside, Gareth took off Luka’s jacket for him and ordered him to drink from a glass of water before arranging Luka on the couch after which Luka promptly fell asleep.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Luka woke up with a startle. He slowly turned his head and saw Gareth asleep, arm on his waist. He recalled most of what happened the previous night. He just hated that he needed liquid courage to say what he did.

Luka tried to remove himself from Gareth’s hold to use the washroom, but he stirred. Luka didn’t know that Gareth was a light sleeper. Well, he denied himself the chance to learn a lot of things about Gareth the first time.

In any case, Luka really needed to use the washroom so scuttled off to do the deed. When he got back, Gareth was seated upright on his couch, and Luka sat down beside him.

“Do you remember what we talked about last night?” Gareth asked him.

“Most of it, I think,” Luka replied. Gareth put his hand in Luka’s.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easy this time, okay?”

Luka nodded.

“It took me a while to come to terms with liking men so I know it’s not easy. But I’ll help you, okay? Let me be the one to do that for you.”

Luka said nothing. Gareth put his other hand on Luka’s leg and arranged him so that he was sitting in his lap. Luka took a deep breath and leaned against Gareth’s large frame.

“Do you have anything to do today?” Luka asked.

“No, I was just going to run some errands, but I can do that tomorrow. What do you want to do?”

Luka felt brave with Gareth’s hand in his own.

“I’d like to kiss you now.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I love the idea of Gareth having a senpai crush on Lukita but even after he matures, he's still like a puppy around Luka because he likes him so much.
> 
> I haven't done a lot of writing but this fic feels a little different from my other work. This fic has more to do with Luka getting over some of his internal struggles. In the past, Gareth's done most of the emotional heavy lifting but at the end, I wanted Luka to also put in some work in that department.


End file.
